Dealing with jealous kids can be tough. We all want the absolute best for our children, so when they see neighbors getting exciting new toys and games to play outside, it’s rough to explain why they can’t always have the same.
Teaching kids to be grateful is a life long battle. If we’re honest most adults are still struggling with how to find contentment in our daily lives and resist the urge to keep up with the Jonses, so this is a lesson families can work on together.
The first thing you want to consider when dealing with jealousy in your kids, is if you are displaying discontentment yourself. How often do we all struggle with wanting a bigger this or a better that. Modeling contentment for your kids will help them learn about handling jealousy from the very start! A bit of honesty with your kids here can go a long way. Share something that you would love to have, but are choosing not to partake in for whatever reason. Maybe it’s a new car, or even an extra slice of cake. Use your own examples as a gentle way of showing your kids that you are in this with them, learning to be happy with what you have, even when others seem to have more.
More Advice if Your Kids are Jealous of the Neighbor Kids
We asked our Facebook community what their advice was, and these were some of our favorite answers:
- We have very a tight budget, and all kids ask for things that their parents can’t practically afford. That doesn’t stop it from stabbing you in the heart when you have to see their sad faces. I have tried to get my children something similar to what they want, but is still affordable, and then play with them with it. A $9 inflatable wading pool that i could sit in with them, a $30 one person trampoline and we take turns, a card table and a sheet instead of a play tent, and a refrigerator box makes a great playhouse. Most of the substituted items are temporary or things you can collapse and put away, store, or even use inside. Its all in how you present it. It may not be as fancy with as the one the neighbors have but its time you can spend with your children instead of working a second/third job to give it to them. They’re only little once, and a day spent playing with mommy is priceless to both you and them.
- I would not try to finagle invites, nor try to compete. I would explain it’s their things, not ours, and just go on with the day. It doesn’t hurt him to watch & look at things without getting them… even if it’s hard on our mommy hearts.
- What about this- teach the little fella to make the first move! Perhaps mommy and little bub can make pirate-themed crafts (or cookies) or even just general gifts and send them over to the neighbour. Even tho’ he might not get invited ever, kindness pays well!
- I personally would not go into it too deeply with him, I would just say, {the neighbors} have lovely toys! Let’s go play with the ones at the park! Or something like that.
We love the tips on helping your child recognize and understand jealousy from challengingbehavior.org. These tools can help you open a dialogue with your child to show them how and why they are feeling what they do. This is all done in a safe, loving and non-shaming way so that kids feel safe to open up about their emotions with mom and dad, even when what they are dealing with is something they need to work through. It’s a beautiful way of communicating with kids of all ages!
If you need a little bit of help knowing how to approach it yourself, you can learn about how to deal with jealousy in kids from this article on Parenting.com. Becoming a safe place for your child to land, even when they are feeling big and overwhelming emotions is such a huge step in teaching them to overcome issues like jealousy!
Here’s a Few Kids Books for Dealing with Jealous Kids:
We have found that some of the easiest ways to teach children is through stories! Even when they are too small to sit and listen to a difficult conversation about a complex topic, they will usually sit still for a story! This is a great way to introduce tough topics to kids and let them see how it plays out in the lives of storybook characters!
- What to do when it’s not fair: a Kids guide to handling envy and jealousy
- The Berenstain Bears and the Green Eyed Monster
What has worked in your family when you had jealous kids? Come tell us on our Facebook page – we’d love to hear from you!
The post Dealing With Jealous Kids {Because Of The Neighbors} appeared first on Kids Activities Blog.
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